Shit Happens

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Church Work

In case anyone was mistaken, I am going to hell. It was been reaffirmed, once again, at my church job.
I have this really tacky Marilyn Monroe snowglobe in which poor Marilyn looks like Barbara Bush dressed for a hooker party. Marilyn is inside a fairly large sized globe, with snow, there is no way in which one may accidentally touch her and become corrupted by the sin she exudes. Marilyn's dress is down, now blowing up over a subway grate.
Ugly, unfortunate Marilyn was sitting at my desk at church work. I thought she would be a good conversation piece. Apparently she was. One of the parishioners complained about the snowglobe and I had to take Marilyn home with me yesterday. She is going to be replaced by a large picture of my Granny Hazel.
Granny Hazel is wearing a racey red, low cut shirt. Fortunately, since Granny hazel did not wear a bra for the last 20 years of her life, she was in no danger of showing any cleavage. I hope this picture is less offensive, but I have proven, over and over again, I have no idea where a regular threshold for offensiveness balances.
Wish me luck.


  • At 12:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If Granny Hazel is still too scandalous I can lend you a pic of the Methodist grandma and grandpa on their 50th wedding anniversary. She has on a very high necked "blouse" and a cross necklace, and grandpa has on a suit. No one will ever have to know their specific denomination, just that they really love Jesus and each other. At least in Hell we'll be in good company...


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home