Shit Happens

Friday, November 19, 2004


I now have 2 mornings at the Salvation Army under my belt, along with a single hour meeting about bell ringing.
So far, so good. From all sources, it sounds like Calvin is on a short leash. I think if the guy so much breaths at me the wrong way he's fired. Someone else said he's under investigation all the time for something. Also, that they think he's using again. That's all heresy, and I can't confirm any of it. I can tell you it is reassuring knowing I work above, and below, people on drugs. Crack is bad and I'm never going to try it. That's the updated conclusion I have come to in my 6 months or so working in social services.
I'm getting paid for all the hours I missed while on my "leave of absence". They also mentioned something about holiday pay, which we don't have. I think I got paid off. It was an extremely shitty payoff, but it's more money than I had while I was fired. Who knew a charity could be so scandalous.

I would still prefer a job with benefits. Keep your eyes and ears out for me. I would also like a nighttime waitressing job, but between my two current jobs right now, I'm working nearly 50 hours/week, so waitressing might have to wait.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Church Work II

Someone turned me in for listening to secular music. Secular music meaning cencored wdbr radio. I have now moved my radio close to my desk and plan to turn it even lower whenever someone come in to my office. This is church life. Secular music will also send you to hell. I'm going down.

Church Work

In case anyone was mistaken, I am going to hell. It was been reaffirmed, once again, at my church job.
I have this really tacky Marilyn Monroe snowglobe in which poor Marilyn looks like Barbara Bush dressed for a hooker party. Marilyn is inside a fairly large sized globe, with snow, there is no way in which one may accidentally touch her and become corrupted by the sin she exudes. Marilyn's dress is down, now blowing up over a subway grate.
Ugly, unfortunate Marilyn was sitting at my desk at church work. I thought she would be a good conversation piece. Apparently she was. One of the parishioners complained about the snowglobe and I had to take Marilyn home with me yesterday. She is going to be replaced by a large picture of my Granny Hazel.
Granny Hazel is wearing a racey red, low cut shirt. Fortunately, since Granny hazel did not wear a bra for the last 20 years of her life, she was in no danger of showing any cleavage. I hope this picture is less offensive, but I have proven, over and over again, I have no idea where a regular threshold for offensiveness balances.
Wish me luck.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Temporary Leave of Absence

After a "temporary leave of absence", I am once again an employee of the Salvation Army. This was a paid absence; I had a free vacation and didn't even know it!
I have a new boss, this guy named Archie, who seems great. He has a good heart and knows what he is doing. Working for him will be much better than working for Calvin.

I'm going back down to the shelter and coordinating the bell ringers. No, I don't actually have to do any bell ringing, I just coodinate them. (ie drive them around)

I have to be about near the end of my run of good luck. I'm excited that things have been going so well, but it makes me a little nervous too. Does that make me a pessimist? Or a realist??

Next, I am getting things together to take my GRE and meeting with some people from UIS. Once of my undergrad creative writing classes should transfer. (it was a graduate level class)

There is some type of community internship or applied class and I want to teach a poetry class at a prison (in J-ville?) or for juvenile delinquents. Or maybe at McFarland. This would be "poetry therapy". (no joke)
Do I ever do anything the easy way?!??

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

We Are The Champions!!

First, I want to thank my cutie-patutie lawyer, Todd Goebel, who put could have charged me thousands (literally!) of dollars more than he did. If you need a lawyer, I know a damn fine one to recommend.

Next, I would like to thank a certain witness for the state who obviously does't know how to dress appropriately for anywhere besides (possibly) a bar. Arriving at court with your ass hanging out, hungover, and puffy definitely helped to convince the jury that you, and your friend, are incredible lushes.

It's unfortunate that you stuck up for your friend who thanked you by screwing around with your boyfriend. No wonder you harbor so much bitterness.

My mom is awesome. She shouldn't go anywhere near a courtroom unless she is auditioning for a porno. (she sat too close to the microphone and the entire room could hear her breath!) She's amazing and I love her.

Joe, who pretended I was the daughter he never had for 2 days, deserves an award also. Thanks again for Supudos, and of course, PH is better:)

Whoa! SEVEN months later and this is FINALLY behind me.


Monday, November 15, 2004

White Trash

White trash is showing up to testify without showering and hair that needs to be dyed to cover up dark roots.
White trash is having everyone wonder if you are pregnant because your stomach is sticking out so far from under your shirt, above your jeans that are too small for you, and your face looks swollen, like you are hungover or on drugs.
When the JUDGE tells you that you are dressed "inappropriately" and asks you to leave the courtroom to "adjust yourself", but all you can do is pull down your shirt, show off some cleavage, and hike up your pants to show off your camel toe, you're trash.
This was the highlight of my afternoon.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

trudging through

I got special contacts for my special eyes. I switched eye doctors and this one said I have an astigmatism. She prescribed contacts that will help me see. Now I can see. It appears that I can ever see at night. It's a little scary how if I hadn't switched doctors I might have never found out about my special eyes and acquired special correction.
I have court tomorrow. It's court date #5, I believe. My lawyer said he's seem them be rescheduled as many as 10Xs. I could testify in my sleep at this point. Maybe I can just invite everyone back to my living room for some pizza and drinks and I can testify from my couch, in my pajamas. Wishful thinking, I know :(
My computer is broken. It starts but that's about it. It's a few years old, maybe it is dead for good. Last week my work computer broke and they stole it from me all week. I read 3 novels last week. Hopefully, I have it back on Tuesday.
Wednesday I speak to the Salvation Army about my new hours. They said they have as many as 29 available. I don't want to work there. I'm sucking it up.