Shit Happens

Monday, January 31, 2005


Now that I'm coming down from my coffee high, my day seems exceptionally tame. I tried to look on UIS's website for the deadlines for fall so I know when to schedule my GRE, need my professor recommendations by, etc. and IT'S A SECRET! I seriously can't find the deadlines for grad school for fall 2005. Maybe I got that early of a start on it. Haha. I think I am going to have to call a stranger about this. I hate calling strangers.

I'm also putting together a revised chapbook to submit with my application and with my requests for letters of recommendations. Hence all the posted poetry. I've been writing a little, but nothing is together enough even to blog. For now, it's all old pieces.

I read this at a reading in college in front of the English department, my then bf, some friends and my unfortunate mother and brother! So much for any pretense of innocence I might have pretended I once had with my family.


The demon I no longer call
by his real name haunts me at
night, growing worse as the morning heat
persists, disappearing in the midday sun. Painfully
close, a lost lover. He stays
near, coming in on me, nearly turning me
on, stopping short.

I finger myself in
attempt to rid of him, cleanse my thoughts but
he pushes in my afterglow, remaining, watching.

I lost him four nights ago, for only a few
hours, long enough to dream of a new lover and
(real) sex. A day without falling lids, a dropping
jaw. But tonight we are together again, he watches my
ritual, and won't leave when
I come.


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