Shit Happens

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Blood Letting

I did my civic duty yesterday; I gave the premie babies some of my special blood.

Have I told you about my special blood? (I brag about my blood all the time - I'm the girl to know if you you're ever going to need any) I have O-, which is the "slut blood". It can mix with any of the other bloods. AND I have some CVR immunity. I don't know what exact inishals are, but it has to do with chickenpox.

The 5% of the population with this CVR thing have super anti-bodies and our blood goes to people with weakened immune systems. (cancer patients, AIDS patients, premie babies) Last week when they called me they were like, "I'm sorry we keep harassing you, but we have 3 babies in the hospital right now". Who can say no that?!

In preparation for the blood letting, I treated myself to some ice cream and chicken nuggets. I read an Entertainment magazine from 1999 (literally) and then I'm called. The nurse is impressed by my iron level, women often have low iron, and we move to the blood chair.

I told her how I tried to give plasma before but the guy told me my veins were too small. They also have to recline my chair immediately, before they even poke me, so I don't get nautious.

These are all signs that yell "CAUTION!". She ignored these signs and stabbed away.

Let me revise, she DUG away. DUG in my arm. Poked my left arm twice, which hurts, but is bearable, and then moved the needles around while inside my inner elbow, trying to find a vain. It HURT.

Then she says, "Can I try your right arm?" I was very tempted to say "No bitch, you used up all your chances", but I was already there and the babies needed my blood. So I said ok.

Luckily, another nurse came over to do the other arm, NO PROBLEM; I overheard her say to the first nurse "Everyone has to learn somehow." WHAT??! I am not a geaniu pig! I hate giving blood, I do it because I have a guilty conscience. Test on a tough old man who doesn't mind.

The lady apologized over and over to the other nurse, who was apparently in charge of her, and just sort of acted like my veins were to blame and it wasn't her fault. My veins were the cause of my pain, not her. I hope she needs some of my special blood one day, I'm not satan, I would give her the blood to save her like, but I would tease her and poke her with big, sharp things before I gave it to her.

Last night I went home with TWO bright orange arm bands, it looks like I had tried to slit my elbows. They not only stole my blood, but turned me into freak to boot.


  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger Blog ho said…

    I'd marry you, if I could do it all over again. O- is sexy.

  • At 10:49 AM, Blogger K- said…

    I wish I could give blood. I got blacklisted when I once told them about my ITP (low blood platelets). I'm recovered now with above average levels but they apparently still don't want me. The yellow tape to get me off the list is not worth the hassle I hear.

  • At 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ho - you tease me

    kys - i'll try to sneak in some extra for you ;)


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