Shit Happens

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Custodian #2

We have 2 custodians here at church work, both named Roy. We'll call them Roy #1 and Roy #2.

Roy #1 and I are buddies, we drink coffee together; the pastor appears proud to be an "occational diet coke drinker" and not a coffee drinker. This is very convenient in that I have never actually used a coffee maker by myself. #1 and I enjoy our not-so-secret indulgence together several mornings a week.

Roy #2 annoys the shit out of all of us. Nice guy, but annoying as hell. Roy #1 realizes how obnoxious #2 is, and avoids him like the plague. Today Roy #1 had me e-mail #2 about some cleaning supplies we needed. I was thankful he didn't have me call, as #2 WILL NOT GET OFF THE PHONE. He's nosy and goes through my things. I really want to throw what looks like used condoms in the trash to see how fast he picks them out and tattles on me.

Last week #2 set out some unfinished bulletins that were to be mailed home for Sunday services. They were UNFINISHED, in various states of revision, and in a pile by my computer. He goes through everything. The pastors have caught him going through financial files. He had made himself keys to every door in the church.

No one gave him all these keys, he somehow took molds of the locks and used the key maker he has in his garage to make his own sets. And someone married and reproduced with this man.


  • At 12:02 PM, Blogger Egan said…

    Interesting. This Roy #2 guy sounds like a real winner. He needs a government job.

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger Blog ho said…

    I still can't get my head around the fact you work for a church. You should buy a stack of playgirls and drop them in your drawer...assuming you haven't already.

  • At 12:50 PM, Blogger Julia said…

    What I don't understand is why he's still employed.

  • At 12:52 PM, Blogger Bunny said…

    Why yes, the hamster is actually potty trained. They have a physical urge to defecate in one spot. All you have to do is pick up some of their droppings and stick it in the sand. They also take sand baths in clean sand when you change it. It's quite cute. They roll all over it.

    My favorite part is "someone reproduced with this man."

  • At 3:26 PM, Blogger stoli said…

    This is all very interesting. I didn't know there were people still named Roy, especially two of them in one place.

  • At 8:25 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    egan- roy #2 is too efficiant to be a government employee. he just sucks to work with. SOMEHOW he owns his own construction business, i think he might just be ocd or something

    ho-no one can. especially me

    julia-firing has been discussed, but he's a member of the church and on the board and stuff. kind of hard to get rid of.

    bunny-i had 2 hamsters in college and somehoe managed to kill them both w/in a month, otherwise, i would be all over a potty trained hamster pet!

    stoli-roys tend to congrigate together, we also have a "clint" and a "ken" around here


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