Shit Happens

Thursday, February 10, 2005

My Left Nut

Let's talk about my left nipple.

It hurts. It all started 6 years ago when a spry, 17-yr-old mini-Melissa thought it would be a good idea to get her nipples pierced. (no, they're not still pierced, although I could show you the scars;) It was not. I almost passed out from the pain and couldn't wear a bra for days. My (at the time) C sized boobs flopped around all over town.

The worst part was getting cold. My nips would get hard, and contract, the way nippy nipples tend to do, except they would be squeezing against ice, cold metal. (I know, this is making me hot too) This lead to discomfort, even pain, and nothing got any warmer.

The rings are gone, but I still get that same type of pain in my left nipple. Just the left one. Whenever it gets cold it aches. It will hurt so bad I'm afraid someone is going to walk in on me in church-work with my hand in my shirt, fingers attempting to warm my nipple. I'm thinking about getting one fo those self-heating all day heat patches made for sore muscles and wearing it inside my bra.

10 Comments:

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger A.P. Frey said…

    Try Solarcaine...

    It's aloe with lidocaine in it. Same stuff they numb your wounds with before stitching. Just a thought! ;o)

     
  • At 8:52 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    i'm not really interested in numbness in that area...

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger philo said…

    i wouldn't mind trying it though

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    i assume you meant on your own nipple

     
  • At 12:06 PM, Blogger philo said…

    duh. as if.

     
  • At 12:47 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    i still don't know if that means your ofr mine. now, if you would like a volunteir to rub numbing creme onto your nipples...i can pencil you in ;)

     
  • At 7:44 PM, Blogger Blog ho said…

    wow. I am moved by this. Really. I'd help you warm your nipples. Warm tongue and saliva are super for warming nipples, I find.

     
  • At 8:37 PM, Blogger baggiegenes said…

    My sister had a cheap piercing in her naval and some of the outer coating flaked off and caused an infection. maybe you have some sort of small nipple shrapnal still stuck in there. Have your nipples ever set off a metal detector? you should have that checked out.

     
  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    baggie- checked out like at the airport or with a medical professional?

    ho- the word "saliva" is really gross. couldn't you have said something inviting like "warm gooy cum"?

     
  • At 7:18 AM, Blogger baggiegenes said…

    I guess that depends on how good your insurance is.

     

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