Shit Happens

Friday, March 18, 2005

Mommy and Me

I get back from the gym tonight and my mom is on the phone with her sister. I don't know what my aunt said but my mom says to me:

Mom: You know what you need to do?
Me: What?
Mom: Make a list of all your old boyfriends. (maybe she had a favorate in mind?)
Me: Why?
Mom: Then call them and see if you can get back with them. (I thought she might be kicking me out and trying to help me find someone to support me)
Me: Why?
Mom: Not that you have sex, but after you have sex call them two weeks later and leave on their answering machine that you have missed your period. (mom knows I'm a ho)
Me: What?
Mom: Call them repeated and make sure it's on their machine that you missed your period. (want grandchildren much?)
Me: That sounds like a brilliant idea mom.
Mom: laughs hastarically

I don't know what that's about but I'm going to make the list. It's short. Will post.


4 Comments:

  • At 9:49 PM, Blogger JLHB said…

    Yo momma is so crazy... Very funny, darling. My mother burped incessantly, directly into my ear over the phone this evening. This caused me to hang up on her. I still love her.

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Blogger aughra said…

    And then hit them up for 'abortion' money.

     
  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger ty bluesmith said…

    okay. you're becoming str8up hilarious. you and ho back to back make it happen for me.

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    j- your family makes me feel like mine is that much closer to normal. i mean that as a compliment :)

    aughra- damn, you're good. have you done this before?

    t- flattery will get you everywhere

     

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