Shit Happens

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Moral of the Story

For some reason, I think that men want to "hang out" at 3am, when the bars are closing.

Now you might think this is prime pussy time, but my infalliable drunken logic tells me that you want to discuss literture.

No joke. True story.

A few months ago I'm at a bar with my girls and I start talking to this guy. He's all preppy and kind of has rosy cheeks, which is hard to pull off (if possiable at all), and it REALLY wasn't working for him.

We start talking about literture. He's a snob and says how he reads the classics, which I understand and don't hold against him. It's dissapointing when a person tells me they love to read and then go on about Stephan King. (there's nothing wrong with King, I've read a few of his books myself, but I do not consider him reference for a "serious reader")

So he's talking about real life books, and litterary styles, and home repairs. (I live in an old house, I know a little about remodeling) At no time does screwing his brains out cross my mind.

Seriously.

OK, that's a lie. I thought about it. Haven't you ever had sex with someone for their brain? In a non-sci-fi-kind-of-turned-on-way?

The idea was immediately vetoed.

However, he is a responsiable person and didn't want to drink and drive and needed a ride home. He was on my way. I come in for some advil, wine, and book talk.

Book talk lasted until 5am, when he wanted to go to bed. He said I was welcome to sleep with him. I asked him what size bed he had, agreeing when he said it was a queen. Which I assumed he would take to mean I wasn't going to lay close enough to him to actually touch him.

He tried to kiss me. It was gross. I went to sleep.

In the morning I was really embaressed and uncomfortable and snuck out early.

But forgot my coat.

Instead of going back there, and having to see him again and be faced with what could have happened had I been
A) hornier B) drunker or C) drugged.

I wasn't especially atttached to the coat and decided I would buy a new one. That was January(ish). It is now April. It's been cold.

But I'm glad I didn't go back.

And the moral of the story is, men don't invite women into their homes to discuss books.

5 Comments:

  • At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    No shit. I invite woman to my house all of the time to talk about books, however the conversations tend to head south when i reveal that i cannot read and ONLY want to fuck them. Moral of my storie, any guy who REALLY likes to talk about literature is a gay

     
  • At 5:42 PM, Blogger JLHB said…

    Anonymous is so right. Bringing a girl home to "talk about books" is the number one trick used by guys trying to sex librarians. Tricky guys.

    MM- You're not really that naive! Did you really think that getting into bed with a heterosexual male would lead to anything but an attempted kiss (or more)? Sorry you lost your coat though.

     
  • At 11:50 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    *a night of cuddling and literture with a gay man doesn't sound so bad.

    *it was drunk logic, if that says anything

    *i really do need a new coat. i'm sure he did something nice with mine like give it to his sister ;)

     
  • At 12:32 AM, Blogger K- said…

    He has a sister? Is she hot?

     
  • At 12:34 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    oh man

    i'll show you where he lives and you can go to the door and ask

    and get me coat back

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home