Shit Happens

Friday, April 08, 2005

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

I rode my first bull last night. I know, I'm surprised it had never happened before either. Some people did it with a partner, but they fell off a lot faster, so I did my riding solitaire.

Riding a machanical bull makes you sore. My inner thighs hurt like I had a night of full on arorobic sex. (which I did not) I would, however, like a entire night of arobic sex and am curently taking applications.

I also danced on the bar. If I had taken off my shirt, I would have gotten a strand of really ugly, big green beads. I have no ethics, I'm not opposed to dancing topless, I'm just saving myself until I get in better shape.

Then I will be topless all the time.

I wore on of those cross over shirts in which most women wear with undershirts. I left the house in an undershirt, but I got hot. (I'm always hot) The undershirt came off in the bathroom and I emerged full on cleavage. Double Ds in a push up bra; I felt like everyone was staring.

I didn't care, I was hot. And drunk.

I told some guy he had a beautiful nose. His friend (who was actually better looking than him) said, "Don't I have beautiful eyes?"

Sure, whatever babe, you're fucking hot.

I went home with the girls, like the chaste girl I have grown to become.


  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger ty bluesmith said…

    how could she talk with a cock in her mouth?


    thank/you. that line won't survive the next edit.

    and i would too, you know.

  • At 1:30 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    you gotta think these things through ty

    and why are you home at 11pm on a friday night?

    you're starting to make me wonder.. ;)

  • At 8:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Where was this bull....and will he be back someday?!

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger ty bluesmith said…

    i was home at 11 becuz:

    1. i started with the coor's light around two in the afternoon

    2. i didn't have a 6'5 pothead waiting for me in some campus bar somewhere.


    now, tell me what your degree is in, please. i am dying to know.

  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    Laura- it was on the north side, i think it visits once a month. phil o said there is one that lives in champaign though

    t- my degree is an psychology and i minored in creative writing and sociology.

    is that at all surprising?

    i would have dripped in jealousy had you had a tall, hottie pothead waiting for you, espeically past 11pm ;)

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger grace said…

    omg. that was funny shit.

  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger ty bluesmith said…

    that figures.

    but, a major and TWO minors? are you fucking nuts or what?

  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger ty bluesmith said…


    i do usually have one of them tall things waiting for me.

    but i'm glad it makes you jealous. i've been in love with you and getting ignored for so long.

    it made me feel so bad inside.

  • At 2:02 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    i was a class short of a third minor (women's studies)

    i really enjoy making men feel bad ;)


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