Shit Happens

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

most recent co-worker bitch comment

The guy next to me mentioned to me before that he quit smoking in his car and used toothpicks to help him quit smoking.

Today I saw him with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. He's offered me one before but I'm not really into toothpicks.

Today I asked for one. He gave it to me. I thought it felt like a stick of dry wood in my mouth, not very pleasurable. I never see him actually cleaning his teeth with one so I was wondering what he did while it was in his mouth. So I asked, "What do you do with it once it is in your mouth? Do you chew on it or just let it hang out of what?"

There are a million lewd jokes that would have been appropriate in this situation but my bitchy co-worker came up with:

"She didn't even really want a toothpick. She just asked for one to copy you. That's why she asked what to do with it, she just wanted to fit in and be cool."

This women is at least 30-years-old.

14 Comments:

  • At 3:03 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    Cause all the cool kids are TOTALLY chewing on toothpicks. Absolutely. That lady is an asshat.

     
  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    instead of "asshat" i thought you said "asshit"

    ass-shit is my new faverate insult

     
  • At 3:08 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    I like asshat and fuckpuff. Sad that the normal ones just don't do it for us anymore!

     
  • At 3:17 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    anything "puff" just doesn't give the effect i am going for :)

     
  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger Amanda said…

    LOL!

     
  • At 3:36 PM, Blogger Rockstar Jessie said…

    Meliss

    Its time to cut the crap. Break her jaw and call it a day. She wouldn't be able to comment further.

     
  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger baggiegenes said…

    "Or maybe i'm just trying to quit smoking so that when i'm your age i won't look as worn out and ragged as you."

     
  • At 7:30 PM, Blogger the good time girl said…

    okay, first off, i think "fuckpuff" may be the greatest word i've heard in a while...and next time my seniors piss me off, i'm going to use it.
    second off, even i can come up with better comebacks than that, and i suck at comebacks. i really think silence would've been best for her in that situation...wow. at least all i have to deal with at work is the pervy guy who calls me "the little shopgirl".
    melissa, you make me grateful for pervs...

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Blogger K- said…

    Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble.

     
  • At 8:42 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    jess

    why do you encourage my not-so-secret violent tendencies?

    i figue, for work, the "female method" works best

    be nice to her face and bitch aboyut her incessently behind her back

    it's for my sanity

     
  • At 8:44 PM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    bg (not to be confused with the expected "bj")

    she would cry. and than take the money she should use to feed her children for the next 6 months and spend it on plastic surgery

     
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