please don't pee on me

Let's talk about pee.

I know, not the most appealing subject, and sorry guys, this has nothing to do with sex, although this post will probably pop up in a bunch of search engines the next time someone googles "pee" and "sex."

Don't pee on the toilet seat, GIRLS.

I work in an office and the bathrooms appear pretty clean. I don't know how often they are clean, but they look OK. We even have those handy paper things you can sit on so your butt doesn't have to touch the same surface as other woman butts.

There absolutely no need to hover. Hovering sometimes results in pee on a toilet seat. I don't know this from first-hand experience, but it makes sense. Port-a-potties, gas stations - yes, hover and take your chances wetting the seat, clean, office bathrooms with butt guards, no NO HOVERING.

So to the female in my building who keeps peeing on the toilet seat. Please stop. If I find out who you are I will hunt you down, like I did the lady who doesn't wash her hands after using the facilities, and post your name and photo on the pee-offender site.

Thank you