Mom and Dad

Today my mom made brunch. If this wasn't odd enough, the four of us sat down to eat it, together, as a family. A happy one.

That part was ok, it reminded me of when I was little and my dad didn't work so much. When he wasn't cranky. (dad is very warm and fun when he's in a good mood, not so much when he is cranky, which is approx. 1/3 of the time)

The part that really irks me though is how much my parents have been talking lately. To eachother. In their inside voices.

I thought I was going to catch them kissing in the driveway yesterday while I was out smoking. Luckily(?) it didn't happen. I don't remember EVER seeing them kiss. My dad has said "I love you" to me once in the past 10 years. I never remember him saying it to mom.

My mom has the "master" bedroom in our house, my dad sleeps on a couch in the spare room. He is a large man and we buy a new old couch for him every few years, since he seems to go through them quickly. His snoring (which includes severe sleep apnea) can be heard through his closed door, downstairs in my house.

I'm really not used to them getting along this much and talking to one another by choice. And laughing. I'm kind of worried I'm going to come upstairs one morning and find them in the same bed.

Mommy and Me

I get back from the gym tonight and my mom is on the phone with her sister. I don't know what my aunt said but my mom says to me:

Mom: You know what you need to do?
Me: What?
Mom: Make a list of all your old boyfriends. (maybe she had a favorate in mind?)
Me: Why?
Mom: Then call them and see if you can get back with them. (I thought she might be kicking me out and trying to help me find someone to support me)
Me: Why?
Mom: Not that you have sex, but after you have sex call them two weeks later and leave on their answering machine that you have missed your period. (mom knows I'm a ho)
Me: What?
Mom: Call them repeated and make sure it's on their machine that you missed your period. (want grandchildren much?)
Me: That sounds like a brilliant idea mom.
Mom: laughs hastarically

I don't know what that's about but I'm going to make the list. It's short. Will post.

St. Patty's Day

My day started at 2:30pm today. Well, that's if you don't count an earlier am wake up to pee, grab bread, water, and excedrin, which luckily solved the majority of the hangover problem.

Last night was my first night to drink ANYTHING in nearly a month. It was worth it.

I got drunk. I got drunk and thought it was the weekend, where captain drinks are $1.50 at my favorate bar. I order a double captain and sprite in a pint glass, my ushual weekend beverage. I try to give the bar tender $4, $3 for the drink and $1 for the tip.

He leans over the bar, close to my ear and says, "You know it's not Friday or Saturday." I said, "I know". He replies, "It's 7". Basketball was on and I thought he was refering to a score.
I say, "OK."
He says, "It's not the weekend."
I say, "I know."
He says, "So it's 7."
I say, "I don't understand."
He says, "The drink is $7. It's not the weekend."
I say, "Ohhhhhh. I thought you were talking about basketball. So I owe you more money?"
He says, "Yes, 7."

I give him $8 and walk away very embaressed for inadvertently trying to cheat one of my favorate bar tenders.

But I was too drunk to care that much.

I have another story which involves an old friend, a hickey, and tears. I'll post it later.

Poke a Hole and Come Inside

This has been a hot topic of conversation around the watering hole. (it was brought up at the bar once last weekend)

I didn't think ALL Jewish people had sex through sheets, but I thought for sure some of them did. My friend Anna's has a friend who lives in Israel and a guy made her have sex through a sheet. I thought it was a religious thing, but I guess it was more of a fetish. I guess that teaches me for believing friend-of-a-friend stories.

Still, someone has had sex through a sheet. Heck, if I had an old sheet around the house I would do it this weekend and post an entire report on Monday.

Here's an article I found off google. sheet sex

Man, I hope the no one in the church ever decides to go through my computer history.

Basketball Picks

My sweetie mom said if I wanted to enter her office pool for the playoffs she would pay for it. I don't watch college basketball at all; here are my guesses!


GAME1=Illinois
GAME2=Nevada
GAME3=Alabama
GAME4=Boston Coll
GAME5=LSU
GAME6=Arizona
GAME7=St Marys
GAME8=Oklahoma St
GAME9=Washington
GAME10=Pacific
GAME11=Georgia Tech
GAME12=Louisville
GAME13=Texas Tech
GAME14=Gonzaga
GAME15=W. Virginia
GAME16=Wake Forest
GAME17=N. Carolina
GAME18=Minnesota
GAME19=Villanova
GAME20=Florida
GAME21=Wisconsin
GAME22=Kansas
GAME23=Charlotte
GAME24=Connecticut
GAME25=Duke
GAME26=Stanford
GAME27=Michigan St
GAME28=Syracuse
GAME29=Utah
GAME30=Oklahoma
GAME31=Cincinnati
GAME32=Kentucky
GAME33=Illinois
GAME34=Alabama
GAME35=Arizona
GAME36=St Marys
GAME37=Washington
GAME38=Louisville
GAME39=Gonzaga
GAME40=Wake Forest
GAME41=N. Carolina
GAME42=Florida
GAME43=Wisconsin
GAME44=Connecticut
GAME45=Duke
GAME46=Syracuse
GAME47=Oklahoma
GAME48=Kentucky
GAME49=Illinois
GAME50=Arizona
GAME51=Washington
GAME52=Wake Forest
GAME53=N. Carolina
GAME54=Connecticut
GAME55=Duke
GAME56=Kentucky
GAME57=Illinois
GAME58=Wake Forest
GAME59=Connecticut
GAME60=Duke
GAME61=Illinois
GAME62=Connecticut
GAME63=Illinois
Tie Breaker=134

Madonna Painting

My new favorate painting

Munch's Madonna

Another List

last cigarette: in the car on the way to work this morning
kiss: This weekend
cry: uh, 2 months ago (?) it was a combination of stress and pms
last movie seen: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, i watch parts of movies before work while i get dressed
last cuss word uttered: fuck
last beverage drank: water
scarey last food consumed: some fettaccini pasta/pork thing, it was just a bite
last crush: skip
Last time showered: This morning
last shoes worn: tall rainbow (i love rainbows!) strapped shoes
last cd played: Sarah McGlaughlin
last annoyance: waiting for this job call
last disappointment: mini fight with mom last night
last soda drank: Diet Coke
last thing written: letter to anna
words spoken: hi
last IM: dunno
last time amused: huh?
last time wanting to die: skip
last time in love: 4(?) years ago
last time hugged: i don't remember :(
I LOVE: ketchup
I HATE: feeling dissapointed
I FEAR: sharks
I HOPE: i stay happy for a long time
I FEEL: good
I HIDE: from calling strangers on the phone
I DRIVE: like a granny
I MISS: my family
I LEARNED: people are imperfect, they (and I) will make mistakes, most things can be forgiven with a simple apology

see you in FALL

I just fell over backwards in my chair at work, again. I took out the mouse, keyboard, and drawer they sit on, increasing the volume of the resulting "THUMP" sound.

No one came to check on me.

I haven't been doing so well with the exercising; I only went twice last week. I know it's just a slump, but I know that in June I'm going to be pretty pissed I let myself get into so many "slumps". Any motivating suggestions? (I said suggestions guys, not insults!)

My friend on the "inside" said that her boss came to her desk yesterday after my third interview to say she was going to offer me the job I've been working on. I'm trying not to get too excited until I actually hear from the lady herself, in case something falls through. I got sick of looking at mini coopers and porcelain veneers online so now I'm looking at cruises and cancun vacations.

I'm Calling His Bluff

I found this dead bunny on my cousin's away messege. He's way into hick life and views bunnies as sources of food.

Go ahead, you can click it. It's not graphic. Just a pic of a cute (living) fuzzy bunny and a Darwin-esk story.

Have you ever spilt juice in bed? Yeah, me neither.

I have a "friend" who recently had juice split in her bed.

Apparently, the juice spilling culprit tried to drink the liquid while asleep(?) Possibly, he assumed it was water and just wrapped an extra blanket around himself to avoid freezing to death in the wet spot, which he assumed would dry clear.

But instead of notifying his bed partner of his sleepover faux pau, he managed to get RED juice on at least THREE blankets. (surprisingly, everything washed out clean- after some soaking) Had he woken up the bed's owner she probably would have thrown him a towel or the closet available, non-ruinable dry piece of cloth to sleep on, but she may have quickly stripped and changed the wet sheets. How did he know she wasn't protective over her sheets and wouldn't be really upset about red stains?

He mentioned it in the morning. It wasn't like a girant red juice stain was going to go unnoticed.

Men are so bizarre.