Vertigo

So...

I'm slowly dying.

OK, sometimes I exaggerate. I am dying. In the sense that we are all dying.

I'm just falling apart faster than you.

I have a sinus infection. And an ear infection. No, my ears didn't start to hurt -yet. You know how I figured out that it wasn't regular allergies?

I couldn't walk straight. I was walking into chairs and walls, tripping on carpet and I felt like I was going to puke whenever I entered a moving vehicle. Or walked.

Or turned my head.

Apparently, this is because my ears are not evenly conjested, which gives me vertigo. (I love the word "vertigo", but not as much as I love the word "banal"- but this isn't about banality, another great word) So now I have pills and spray and salt water and steamy cloths.

For some reason, dizziness (or vertigo, if you prefer) has made me really hungry. Mostly for lucky charms. I don't know why. Eating makes me feel pukey, but I'm half way through a box in like 3 days.

AND I can't go to the gym. I ache. The doctor took my blood because I said my fingertips are tingley and my arms and legs fall alseep often. Which could mean my blood sugar is messed up.

I didn't tell her my blood sugar might be messed up because I've been gorging myself on lucky charms.

I assume the marshmellow bits will show up in my blood work.

We have a screamer

There's a pig truck that drives through downtown. I see it a few times a week and that's just on smoke breaks, I don't have a window at work.

Today the pigs in the truck were screaming.

SCREAMING.

I would never make it on a farm.

Ticket Trouble

I had a court date for the ticket I got last month for hitting that car, but I missed it.

Can I reschedule it and try to get supervision after I miss it without calling? I'm probably going to just pay the ticket regardless. At least I can pay for the ($800) bumper out-of-pocket and didn't need to turn that part into my insurance.

Since they know I have the ticket does it even matter whether or not I turn in the bumper price?

I don't know how these things work.

Next time I hit a car I'm hitting an old crappy one.

Proximity to PP

I work by a Planned Parenthood.

I know, convenient-- as soon as I find a fitting co-worker to get it on with over our lunch breaks.

I'll make him run over there for condoms.

I provide P, you provide condoms. This is how it works.

The other day there were some anti-abortion protesters. Anti-abortion people scare the fuck out of me. (as do fundamental christians, girls wearing strap-ons, and sharks)

I made obscene hand gestures at them. This accomplishes nothing.

But it makes me feel a little better. Like I put a damper on their day, as they did mine.

AP is killing me

For the new job I write in Associated Press style. This means puncuation is inside of quotation marks and states have long abbreviations. (ex: Wash. for Washington) Had I taken a journalism class in college, this may be much easier for me to grasp and accept.

MLA doesn't exist here.

I like learning new things, especially when it comes to writing, so I don't mind. It's just one of the 5,537,372,093 things that collectively overwhelm me. In addition to my spelling inabilities. And constant incomplete directions.

So the job is going well. I think I need to buy more work clothes. I need to just buy enough once so I can stop going back and buying a shirt here, or a pair fo pants there.

Shopping can suck my ass.

I'm getting panic attacks again. Which means I eat adivan like candy. One might think this would turn a person into a zombie. And it might, if I didn't have an actual anxiety disorder. In college, I used to down an adivan, maybe a vicodon, and a half bottle of vodka and enter heaven.

Now that just makes me feel sick.

I haven't been too good about the gym lately, I'm going back tonight. This should help. And extensive organization. My sock drawer will be organized by tomorrow.

And talking to people (about anything unrelated to stress), movies, music, reading- all of those things help distract me when I'm freaking out.

So maybe you should make an extra effort to answer the phone when I call the next few weeks. Just tell me about your dog, or mole removal- I don't care.

Just talk.