Shit Happens

Friday, May 27, 2005

my non-complaint

I've been complaining a lot lately. I admit it. So as a Friday treat to myself, I'm making a list of 10 things I like about myself, or feel appreciative of.

And I have something to nice to say about everyone who comments today, in case you need a pick-me-up also.

1) I really do like my job. A lot.
2) I have a damn cute nose.
3) I love having long hair. And am proud of myself for having the patience to grow it out.
4) I can laugh at myself. And do it often. In a good way.
5) My cleavage makes me happy. (usually)
6) I can hold my liquor. Well.
7) I give good head. (well, no one's complained yet. are there men who complain?)
8) I have an amazing family and friends.
9) I like how people talk to me. Everywhere. About everything. (most of the time)
10) I'm proud of how well I stand up for myself and the people I care about.

I got minimal sleep. That's all I got for now.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Joke Job

I did some investigating and found out the note about my shelf paper from Building Services was a joke. We don't even have building services anymore, it's called something completely different.

The guys that (I assume) did it don't know I know it was a joke, they just think I'm either ballsy or a nutjob for covering the rest of my cubicle in the paper. I deserve it, I harass them pretty much all day, every day. It keeps me from falling asleep between projects.

But now I need something to get them back.

Any ideas?

code violation

5/25/05

This shelf paper is in VIOLATION of (internet edit) policy. Please Remove ASAP.

Thank you.
Building Services

your manager will be notified of this code violation




(this is going up on my cube wall and i'm covering the other shelves today)

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

sex slave

I want a live-in, full time sex slave.

Every morning when I wake up, he will tell me how hot I am.

I will recieve oral sex on a ragular basis, because getting me off is his sole purpose in life. There will be nothing he enjoys more than eating out my pussy. And although he has told me over and over that I am the absolute best, he will never expect reciprical oral favors.

(various time-killing sex activities possibly including spanking, choking, begging, and hair pulling can ensue between)

Then, he will rub my back and we will cuddle. We will discuss/talk-to-death our life plans, social issues, current events, and litterature.

He will sleep on his side of the bed, leave me my covers, and not snore.

What would yours do?

Monday, May 23, 2005

A gentleman never discloses...

A gentleman never discloses who sucked him off

http://theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4120

seriously

Illness of the week

The illness of the week is bronchitis.

If I was more motivated or computer savy, I would have linked "bronchitis" above. If you're a non-smoker, and/or have never had bronchitis, you'll have to google it on your own.

*****************

My friends Emily and Aaron got married this weekend after about 7 years of dating. And I was too sick to partake in the free booze. My date was a cutie usher, which meant he got all gussied up in a tux.

In case you've never noticed, ALL men look better in tuxes. They automatically have broad shoulders and look clean cut.

However, I was also too sick to try to get him liquored up and "partake" in him either. Instead, we checked out hottie girls together. He's had a run of luck with the ladies lately, and I said I wanted to see him in "action."

I left early and am unsure if he, or anyone else, got any "action".

I did make some comments to my date that he would win a prize if he got her to make out with him. Not sex, that would make me feel like a dirty pimp, just some drunken making out.

***************
My friend Laura, who I have known for about 10 years, couldn't get over how I cried through the wedding ... and part of the reception. "You just don't seem like someone who would cry at weddings."

I cry during phone commercials, where have you been?!! It's guaranteed I'll lose it during a wedding. Even stranger weddings. Welcome to my embarrassing life.

**************

I bought the movie "Big Fish" and "White Oleander" to watch while I was hanging out at home. I recommend both. The Oleander book is exceptionally good, read that first, then watch the movie. I don't know if there is a big fish book.