Shit Happens

Friday, August 05, 2005

i came to save you ... my favorate position

... walked up to a whore
grabbed her by the hand

let the wheels spin
let the room shake
let the speakers blow

let the light in
let the kids play
let the people know

let the rules burn
let the girls love
let the heat flow

let the world turn ...

(i'm on a kick)

auditioned for the part of jesus, got the part of jerk ...

Am I the only jackass who got so burnt camping last weekend that my shoulders and chest are peeling like a banana??

parties and home life

I turn 24 August 19th. I love birthdays because I love presents, and probably attention.

Although I appear very worldy, secure and finicially stable (yes, you're supposed to be laughing) I still live at home with my parents. In their basement. Their unfinished basement.

Anyway, my mom is sweet and never cares who is over and always offers to share whatever we have in the house, even though I don't pay rent or help with groceries. She's a much nicer person than me.

I suggested a barbecue for my birthday, since we have a humongous yard and her favorite pastime whenever I have a get together is to get drunk and tell my friends embarrassing stories as if we live in a cliche movie.

But I digress.

So I mention the bbq to mom, thinking she is going to offer to fund the party since it is my special day.


Instead she tells me our house is too ghetto to have people over. (some holes in the living room ceiling that have been there for at least 5 years, a wobbly downstairs toilet, leaky sink, a back door that can only be unlocked from the outside - you get the idea)

It's not a big deal because I'm a poor planner anyway and will probably be too hungover that afternoon to set anything up and she would probably end up being the one too do the shopping anyway.

A few days later she tells me she thinks I should come up with some type of savings plan and try to move out in a year.

So I guess 25 is the cutoff. Kinda funny in a sad, pathetic way.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

In case you still need to get me a birthday present ...

"I gave my word to stop at third"
http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/gavemyword
blue or grey men's XL

"Missouri loves company"
http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/missouri
green men's XL

The Kenyon Rewview
https://www.kenyonreview.org/order/subscriptions.php

I also enjoy scented candles and lotion.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

lift it up and shake it round (i can't stop)

And while I'm pulling on her bra she's
tugging on my drawstring

screaming and shoutin to figure out how ya lost me
chewing up my ciggerette and smoking my gum

out of respect for your boyfriend I'll use my thumb ...

I'm in your aquarium

Unzip your skirt
take off your blouse
I hope your toes are painted
cause you're going to dance in your undies all over your house

when your eyes are closed I hope I'm the man you see
cause if not I want you to know tonight I plan to be

My favorite song of the day. Do you know it?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm a bitch (maybe)

There's a girl at smerk who is about my age and pretty nice. She's artistic and creative and open minded, which is kind of hard to find.

She just moved back to Springfield about half a year ago and is having a hard time making friends. (the first sign)

I let her try on some formal dresses I had from high school and college for this pageant she was in. She broke the zipper on one - thank god it wasn't my favorite one - and told me about it. Which was cool, she could have thrown it back in the bag and I wouldn't have noticed for another 4 years until someone else needed a dress for something.

She might have said sorry, I don't remember, but she didn't offer to have it fixed! The dresses were long and a bitch to haul back and forth to smerk and she didn't wrap them back up for me to take home, she just put them back on the hangers and I had to shove them back in the protective wrap. (any women who has even worn a dress and had to stick it in the wrap knows what a bitch it is, especially when you have to do it to 6 or 7 of them)

She nagged a co-smerker to set her up with a guy. They went on a double date, all got long fine, but when they guy called the girl to ask her about again she told him that she really wasn't attacted to him, didn't feel sparks.

After the girl did her a FAVOR, and the guy is really nice and all the sucky girl had to do was say she would hang out with him, but just wanted to be friends, or something - anything more tactful then telling him she wasn't attracted to him after acting like she like she was interested in him.

For some reason this girl really likes me and constantly asks me to do things with her. Before I realized how pushy and annouying she was, I said I would, but never got around to it.

How she keeps asking, she doesn't have very many of her own friends so when I say I have plans with mine she implies I should invite her ( I like my friends, I'm not spreading the problem around!). We avoid telling her where we are going to lunch because she will invite herself.

Even though this girl obviously sucks, I feel really bitchy and selfish not doing more to be nice to her.

But I don't want my regular life and smerk lives to cross. The sucky girl talks about personal things I wouldn't talk about at work, like meeting guys off the internet. I let her read one of my poems (before I didn't like her) because she is into some of the same stuff as me and she pretty much announced to the office that they were pornographic. (1. they are not 2. not something you announce at an insurance office)

I hate making people feel bad and she knows I am putting her off. Am I horrible?

(on the upside I brought some Tori Amos Cds into smerk to listen too. it's lovely)

Sunday, July 31, 2005

This is what I do for fun


DESCRIBE
Your Heritage: German, English, Swetish, Norweigain
The Shoes You Wore Today: gay pride flip flops
Your Eyes: boring brown
Your Weakness: self-control
Your Fears: sharks, unhappiness
One Thing You’d Like To Achieve: becoming an English Professor, having a book published, paid to write - unrelated to insurance!

STATISTICS
Name: Melissa
Alias: make one up for me
Birth date: Aug 19, 1981
Birth-Place: Portland
Birth-Time: dunno
Gender: female
Angel: huh?
Birthstone: an ugly light green stone, no matter how expensive it is, it still looks cheap and ugly (and since I don't think they price over $50, i shouldn't be surprised
Zodiac: Leo.
Pet Cats: Princess. He's a boy. And has a herpes eye.
Pet Dogs: nope
Other Pets: Duke. He needs to see a dentist
Bedrooms: basement
Bathrooms: huh?
Phone Number: never bothered to memorize it
City/Town: Springfield
State: IL
Country: USA

WHAT IS
First Feature You Notice In the Opposite Sex: Heigth, teeth, skin
Your Best Physical Feature: nose
Your Bedtime: either early, like 6 p.m., or late, like 3 a. m.
Your Greatest Accomplishment: finishing college? i don't talk about anything that personal on my blog, actually
Your Most Missed Memory: confidently wearing a bikkini!

YOU PREFER
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi. it's sweeter
McDonald’s or Hungry Jacks: what's a hungry jack's?
Single or Group Dates: i'm with mark
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: water
Adidas or Nike: Reebok. whichever one has the most purple shoes this season

DO YOU
Smoke: unfortunatly
Cuss: sure
Take A Shower Everyday: i try
Have A Crush(es): rarely. unless they are the fake kind, comparable to "man crushes" - the platonic ones we joke about guy's having
Who Are They: colin farrel. does anyone have a copy of his sex tape they will send me?
Do you think you’ve been in love?: yep. twice. the first guy turned out to be crazy and the second left a hole in my heart
Want to go to College/Uni: yep. 50k later ...
Like School: i miss it so much
Want to get Married: yeah. but i don't want to clean up after someone, have kids, or constantly cator to some man's insucurities - so it may never happen

Get motion sickness: nope
Think you’re attractive: decent
Think your a health freak: i wish
Get along with your parents: yeah
Like Thunderstorms: love them
Play an instrument: I wish I could play piano or guitar

IN THE PAST MONTH DID/HAVE YOU
Drank Alcohol: yep
Done a drug: nope.
Have sex: yep
Made out: yep
Go on a date: nope
Go to the Mall: nope
Been on stage: nope
Been dumped: nope
Gone skating: nope
Made home-made cookies: nope. i'm not really a cooker
Dyed your hair: nope.
Stolen anything: nope

HAVE YOU EVER
Flown on a plane: yep
Missed School because it was raining?: yep
Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: yep
Cried during a movie?: all the time
Ever thought an animated character was hot: probably
Had an Imaginary Friend: i had an alligator. i was an imaginitive kid
Been on stage?: yep - i was Puss in Puss ' Boots when I was in third grade
Cut your hair: yep - such a bad idea
Had a crush on a teacher?: nope
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: all 4.5 years of college
Been caught “doing something”: probably. i'm not very "sneaky" (or quiet)
Been called a tease: i wish i could say i had ;)
Gotten beaten up?: nope
Been in a fight: oh yes - embaressingly enough it's a great ego boost to find out you can beat a bitch's ass with minimal effort
Shoplifted: when i was younger

THE FUTURE
Age you hope to be married: when i'm in love, 101% happy/satisfied with myself, and debt-free
Numbers and names of children: NONE. ever

Describe your dream wedding: no idea
How do you want to die?: don't care, i just prefer it's quick and before things really start to fall apart
What do you want to be when you ‘grow up’?: english professor
What country would you most like to visit?: madagasgar, galapogos islands


OPPOSITE/SAME SEX
Best eye colour: the ones that change colors
Best hair colour: don't care
Short or long hair: LOVE floppy hair - but "long" hair os gross on men, like earring it went out in the 80s
Best height: TALL

Best weight: not super skinny, and not super fat - besides that i could care less
Best first date location: it's been long time since i've been on a "date" so i couldn't tell you
Best first kiss location: you're going to laugh, but i love being kissed on the forehead. it's perfect before you start seeing someone and you're not sure if they like you (example - you're sitting down and they kiss you say good bye) or while you're in one to show minimal pda

NUMBER OF:
Number of boyfriends/girlfriends you’ve had: 4(?)
Number of kisses you’ve given: can people count those things?
Number of drugs taken illegally: i plead the 5th
Number of people I could trust with my life: i think it's silly when people think in those terms
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: 2
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a few
Number of scars on my body: a few
Number of things in my past that I regret: i have no regrets

FAVOURITES
Shampoo: anything that smells good
Colour: PURPLE
Day/Night: night
Summer/Winter: fall
Lace/Satin: satin
Cartoon Character: meat wad
Food: pizza, potatoes, club sandwiches
Movies:currently - let's make love (MM)
Sport: baseball

RIGHT NOW
Wearing: tank top and launge pants
Wishes I was wearing: nothing
Drinking: water
Thinking about: if i should run out to the store
Listening to: the fan click

IN THE LAST 24 HRS
Worn Jeans: nope
Met someone new online: nope
Done Laundry: yep
Drove A Car: nope
Talked on the phone: yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
Yourself: most of the time
Your friends: yep
Santa: heh
Tooth Fairy: he heh
Destiny/Fate: nope
Angels: nope
Ghosts: yep
UFO’s: yep
God: yep

FRIENDS AND LIFE
Do you ever wish you had another name?: nah, if i switched it i would get sick of that one too
Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: nope
Do you like anyone?: sometimes
Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: none really
Who have you known the longest of your friends?: laura mae
Are you close to any family member?: friggin' all of them
Who do you hang around with the most?: do the people i sit by at work count?
When have you cried the most: dunno. i go through cycles
What’s the best feeling in the world?: happiness, confidence, trust
What time is it now?: 9:14

CURRENT
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: classic rock
Current Taste: toothpaste
Current Hair: air-dried waves
Current Annoyance: sun burn
Current Smell: aloe
Current things I ought to be doing: cleaning
Current windows open: none
Current desktop picture: a cat with a lime on his head like a footbal helmet
Current Book:
nicholas nicklby
Current Job: writer

DO I/HAVE I EVER
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yep, not the same one, but certain people/themes
Remember your first love?: yep - sometimes i smile when i think about him and sometimes i just roll my eyes
Read the newspaper?: sometimes, but more online
Believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever?: yes, but i'm not sure if it's neccesary
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: not enough
Consider love a mistake?: loaded question
Like the taste of Alcohol?: sometimes
Have a favourite candy?: skittles
Do well in school?: well enough - depends on the subject
Wear hats?: rarely
Close friends?: enough
Wish on stars?: sometimes
Like your handwriting?: yep
Care about looks?: sometimes

LOVE AND STUFF
Gay? Straight? Bi? Null?: you have to ask?
First Crush: nick delitoni in first grade
Ever been in a thing called Love?: didn't we juist have that question?
Do you believe in love at first sight?: nope
Do you believe in “the one?”: nope. but i think the one you end up with should always feel like "the one"

ARE YOU A
Wuss: sometimes
Druggy: nope
Daydreamer: sure
Freak in the sack: if i'm in a good mood and am either drunk and/or actually like the guy i'm fucking
Dork: always
Bitch/Asshole: too much
Brat: too much
Sarcastic: sure
Shy: rarely
Talkative: somtimes
Adventurous: sometimes
Joker: usually

LAST
Last book you read: little earthquakes. it's not bad
Last movie you saw: big fish - i only own a few that aren't MM movies
Last thing you had to drink: flavored water
Last time you showered: a hour ago - i was camping all weekend so it felt like heaven
Last person you talked to on the phone: laura mae