Shit Happens

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

an over-due boob update

A blog author (of something I am too lazy to link) wrote that sometimes she feels distracted by her own breasts.

I know the feeling. I sit at a desk all day, typing, which I do with two fingers - very quickly, but not correctly. While watching these fingers my breasts sometimes enter my line of vision.

At which point I am distracted.

Sometimes I find various treasures while not-so-covertly checking out my own boobs. Crumbs, lint, a small colony of smerfs ... It's a black-hole in my shirt.

While dieting, I wanted my boobs to shrink. I'm thinking C-D is ideal. And they are, but they are deflating. They're not sagging or taking up less space in my hat-sized bras, but there is a leak somewhere.

Imagine very large balloons filled with jello, or pudding. Jelloy-pudding. They're big and firm and bounce and taught with jello-y pudding-y goodness.

But then there is a leak. A very small leak, but still a leak. The balloons are still pert and firm and still taste the same when licked, but they feel a little deflated. A little less bouncy, a little less happy.

So I'm working on finding my breasts some prozac and find out tonight at my fat meeting if I FINALLY lost a full 20lbs.

Maybe if I didn't cheat on my diet so much I wouldn't lose weight so damn slow.

high hormones

The only thing better than discussing birth control with your mother is talking about it with your little brother's girlfriend!!