Shit Happens

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

bad boys and old men

It's a little daunting when stranger-danger, 60-year-old plus insurance agents give me advice about men over the phone.

He explaining that women have all the power and that kids today are too caught up in appearances. He told me everyone looks ugly when they get old, so I better find someone I can talk too, instead of a "bad boy."

No joke.

I'm not even caught up in appearances and generally don't date jerks.

Maybe Mr. Agent knew this since he said sort of pimped out his 22-year-old, baseball player stud son to me. "If only you lived in South Carolina ..."

Sweet guy, but if I lived in SC I would have problems way beyond not having a boyfriend.

And he's Italian, I bet his son has a gorgeous nose ...

more MN stories

After 6 hours in the car and an entire bottle of vodka this is what Anna and I discuss.

Me: That floppy guy is so cute. If I was 19 I would have all of his clothes of right now.

Anna: If I was 23 I would have his clothes off right now.

Luckily, we are old and crotchety and jailbait became less appealing once he spoke.

Monday, November 07, 2005

MN is for girl friends

MN was great. The nine hours up were not bad. The 11 hours back were rough.

I won a drinking competition with April's finance.

My new favorite card game is hearts.

I met a 23-year-old man who wears women's jeans, his belt backwards and plastic bracelets.

I met April's roommate Jen, who may possibly be the cutest thing on the entire planet.

I watched Amanda get buried in a $500 love sack.

I saw a boob in a bucket (it was really a crate) and a picture of someone pooping out a baby.

My car is filthy, I survived driving in Chicago and did not get any tickets. (because I stayed under 90, I guess)