Shit Happens

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

say it ain't so

please PLEASE PLEASE tell me that people are only going crazy, buying these ugly TACKY scarves in the Midwest. I know we're behind in fashion but come on.

You don't need a scarf that can turn into a dress, or a skirt, tube top of turban. You just don't need it and it's wrong.

It's wrong people. And it's ugly. And me with my minimal fashion sense, I laugh. In horror.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Violated

Let me tell you

I went to the gynecologist this morning. MOST VIOLATING EVENT EVER!! Why don't men have to see a gyno? Their left boob can hang out of the paper robe and they can deal with the small talk the doctor tries to make while she digs inside of you and her instruments make a scraping/crunching sound.

I was informed that I had mold growing inside of me and it could only be killed with semen. (the non-SUPER kind)

In real life, she told me it's real important I take birth control because of my family history and if I don't ovulate it could be harder to have kids.

And you know I REALLY want kids.

And THIS is supposed to make me take care of my insides, take pills I'm really took cheap to pay for when there is no sex involved and visit the violotory doctor.

I'm trading in my vagina. I want a penis.

Monday, December 05, 2005

attempt at morning cheer

I sold my first scarf today for $20! I wasn't even trying. Yeah! More money for Christmas or to go toward bar tabs ...

AND I haven't had a cigerette in 5 days. I'm only 85 days away from a free date dinner with Ed! (move over Amanda ;)