Shit Happens

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Two pounds - two hundred and fifty millions more to go!

I started going back to fat meetings with Ma and after only eating slightly better last week, I've lost two pounds! I've kept about 10 off the 18ish I lost before -- not great, but better than nothing. Maybe after the holidays I'll get more serious about it, for now, I'm paying nearly $50/month to have someone weigh me. (hey, I never said I was a smart --- did I?)

Skinny Pops has lost over 60 lbs on his liquid diet! He's lost the most in his class and is the only person who hasn't cheated and eaten actual any actual food (scary). He's been very cheery lately, but says his knees are really starting to hurt.

He's had hurty knees for a while, but now he thinks he's missing a vitamin and it is making them worse. Luckily, he's already paying a million dollars for a doctor to monitor his eating and health so he can just ask the guy at his weekly standing appt. My mom and I haven't had the guts to ask how much he wants to lose total, or how much more ...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I just changed my health care plan for next year to take out $1,200 in a flexible spending account. (health care reimbursement) That means I'll take home about $70 less per month in my check. (I get to keep the 30% that would have been taken out in taxes)

I've never done it before - I hope I don't regret it!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

please don't pee on me

Let's talk about pee.

I know, not the most appealing subject, and sorry guys, this has nothing to do with sex, although this post will probably pop up in a bunch of search engines the next time someone googles "pee" and "sex."

Don't pee on the toilet seat, GIRLS.

I work in an office and the bathrooms appear pretty clean. I don't know how often they are clean, but they look OK. We even have those handy paper things you can sit on so your butt doesn't have to touch the same surface as other woman butts.

There absolutely no need to hover. Hovering sometimes results in pee on a toilet seat. I don't know this from first-hand experience, but it makes sense. Port-a-potties, gas stations - yes, hover and take your chances wetting the seat, clean, office bathrooms with butt guards, no NO HOVERING.

So to the female in my building who keeps peeing on the toilet seat. Please stop. If I find out who you are I will hunt you down, like I did the lady who doesn't wash her hands after using the facilities, and post your name and photo on the pee-offender site.

Thank you

spring cleaning --- six months early

While cleaning out the boxes I have in the back of my closet I came across the following items:

  • C-cup bras
  • at least 20 pairs of sexy undies (who saves underwear that doesn't fit them anymore ?!??)
  • 3 pairs of panties bordering granny-panties (why am I saving underwear that I didn't wear even when it fit?)
  • the homecoming dress I wore when I was 14 - 10 years ago for anyone who's counting and its still ugly and ill-cut
  • a leather tube top (I had to keep that, what if I have a leather-top emergency??)
  • jeans with a huge hole in crotch (I just know I'm going to regret throwing those out)
  • Docker's shorts I haven't worn shorts in years, how the hell did I end up with preppy, ultra-conservative Dockers - and even better, why did I keep them??
  • a sweater with a large keyhole cut out in the chest which I ended up wearing to church with an ex-boyfriend's family because I don't pack well
  • a brown tie-dye thermal shirt
  • 10 vintage-style nighties I keep collecting them but I haven't slept in clothes for years - all I need is a ratty robe for around the house.
  • 6 turtle shirts
  • 8-10-year-old skirts apparently skirts never go out of style?

All women keep clothes that once fit and will fit again ... one day. But old underwear, even barely worn nice ones --- and crotchless jeans? WOW

Sunday, December 11, 2005

11 days down ...

These are common detox symptoms and are related to changing body chemistry/hormone shifts, as well as toxins, etc, leaving the body through all soft tissue. Quitting smoking puts extra stress on you body's nervous system. A natural response to this kind of stress can be things like acne and cold sores. This detox process can also inflame, even infect, all soft tissue.

Yes, I realize my skin is perfectly fine but I have flashbacks to my 14-year-old self every time a pimple or two pops up.

But it feels just a little better knowing even my skin misses cigarettes.