more untitled poetry!
This is a revision of something I wrote during the past year. I don't think I've posted it before and it definitely fits my "long poem" theme.
Stabbing into me
over
and
over
severing my legs
apart, entering my exposed
gut (a fish leaking
and torn) I don't want to scare
you so I gasp
"harder"
and
"faster"
softly, urgently as if your body left mine
a choice. You comply
knifing me
over
and
over
premeditated (presumed sane) the way
you rest before going
at it again. Ignoring the steady
stream of dripping
blood.
Stabbing into me
over
and
over
severing my legs
apart, entering my exposed
gut (a fish leaking
and torn) I don't want to scare
you so I gasp
"harder"
and
"faster"
softly, urgently as if your body left mine
a choice. You comply
knifing me
over
and
over
premeditated (presumed sane) the way
you rest before going
at it again. Ignoring the steady
stream of dripping
blood.
posted by Marilyndrew @ 10:35 PM
6 Comments:
At 2:16 PM,
pvherrig said…
This is... I don't know excactly what to say... At first it reminds me of some Six Feet Under lyrics, but then again, obviously it is not. It is something else. I like it. Very strong poetry I think. A little frightning. If I ever have a 16 year old daughter, can I show this to her before she goes on her first date?
At 2:55 PM,
Marilyndrew said…
Thanks, I think.
I've never heard of 6 feet under, so it wasn't influenced by them.
I've been a 16-year-old daughter, I wouldn't recomend having one of your own ;)
At 3:09 PM,
pvherrig said…
Didn't think your poem was inspired by them, afterall they are some heavy/death metal band I used to hear in my younger years. They still make albums though, but they are very far out, specially if you read the lyrics. Nevermind them, I shouldn't have spend all that time reading their lyrics anyway.
But I do think it is a good poem, got me thinking, thinking about lot's of stuff.
At 11:54 PM,
George Larson said…
I'd like to see a little more visual variation.
More the words around.
Bukowski, or Elliot.
Most importantly, read a lot of poetry. It helps you find yourself.
At 8:01 AM,
Marilyndrew said…
GL - Thanks for the input!
I LOVE Bukouski's novels but his poetry is awful! Interesting that you suggested reading his work.
My faves are Sharon Olds and Anne Sexton.
At 8:01 PM,
George Larson said…
Don't like Buk's poetry?!?!
Them's fightin' words!
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