Shit Happens

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Condom pants!

I just read my favorite post ever over at The Hot Librarian.

First of all, balls seem kind of dirty. And hairy balls (don't get me started) are probably breeding grounds for all types of diseases. How come you don't see BallCondoms in stores? Do they make BallCondoms so we women can safely suck (hairless!) balls?

Although CondomPants seem a bit extreme, I would like to have sex with condoms made of impenetrable, Superman-like steal. And if for some reason this isn't enough, I would prefer the millions and millions and millions of little babies that men release then turn around and swim all over them, possibly into their condom pants - and far from my healthy ovaries.

I would also like to see more products to make men come more quickly. (Get ready, we're going to share) I can get off in less than two minutes, so by the time we get to minutes four and five, I'm ready for a sandwich and a nap.

A sandwich and a nap are far more appealing to me than waiting for some plowpoke guy to release his demon seed.

And I love cum (come?), I really do. I love cum all over me (just not my hair, nose and eyelashes) except near my ovaries. I imagine my ovaries having long tube-arms with suckers on the ends, inhaling like a super-Hoover when sperm gets anywhere near them. They may also suck at condoms, and that's why they should probably be superglued on at the base before each sexual encounter.

You can never be too safe, right?

6 Comments:

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger jager Jeff said…

    Why cant all girls have the same luv of cum as you. We also have something in common because I can cum in 2 minutes too. That also includes foreplay. God I am a Stallion

     
  • At 7:02 PM, Anonymous moondog said…

    what about guys who come quickly but can stay up for over an hour afterwards? where do i, er... "we" fit in your desires?

     
  • At 10:53 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    You're a stuf Jeff. A STUD.

    Moon- As long as they are "functional" for as long as they are needed - I guess it's all the same.

    Is it sort of the same as quick recovery time? (more coming to come, but with more work the second time around?)

     
  • At 5:55 PM, Anonymous moondog said…

    do you mean is it possible for multiple orgasms? i have no idea, since i haven't been with someone willing to push that envelope for some time now... :(

     
  • At 10:04 AM, Blogger Marilyndrew said…

    I've never been with a guy who can stay hard and come again- but some have been able to have sex three of four times in a night. (with soft rests in between)

    I don't know if that answers your question or not.

    As for not getting laid, it's easier to just not have sex than to go back and forth and only have it sometimes. (and I'm always reminded fo that the hard way)

    Sometimes the sex you have in your head is much better than the real life version anyway.

     
  • At 1:45 AM, Anonymous moondog said…

    ah, i get it now. i think a lot of guys can probably do it many times if they take a break in between. but for me, if i had a girl willing to keep going, yes i could come again without a break, it would just take awhile. ... like 30 minutes or more...

    and yes, the fantasy is almost always better than the reality. otherwise we wouldn't call it fantasy ;)

     

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