Shit Happens

Friday, June 30, 2006

croc of ...

Will someone please explain the explosion of plastic gardening shoes to me?

I just found out today that they are called "crocs" and come in men's sizes too.

I imagine this fall I will see ladies in these hideous shoes WITH their awful convertible scarves.

Man, it's hard being a style maven (HAHAHA!). But while searching for the awful scarf that converts to a dress that converts to a neck warmer that converts to a tube top, I did find something that would be right up my ally (Providing I didn't feel semi-hatred toward all frog-
like objects)

Anyone know how to knit a sloth scarf?

And I'm a "selfish" and a "coward"

Remember the crazy ex? (fine, the hot guy in the towel)

First of all, he's friends with the rapist - he (the ex) acts like I just don't "get it" about this sex offender stuff, but doesn't have an explanation. Which I assume means he's the guy's friend no matter what, and the story is that the guy is a scummy rapist. That's fine (it's not really fine, but there's nothing I can do about it), but don't act like I don't "understand" and am overly judgmental (I'm not denying that this may be true, just that it is not true in this situation) because I'm coming down on your sex offender friend.

SO, I don't think I have to think about whether I am going to see him in September because he's so offended I avoided him the last time (he just figured it out now??) that he's not talking to me. And he doesn't understand why I think he's manipulative and critical, but he did send me two separate e-mails about how I have a death wish by smoking, it makes me inconsiderate to my family, I'm disgusting and unsexy.

"Hi, how have you been? Oh, you still smoke? You're going to die and I think you're weak."

He's a charmer.

I know that smoking is bad for me, I know it smells bad, but couldn't he at least wait until a ten or twelth e-mail to "helpfully" remind me of that?

Did I tell you about how he got mad at his roommate in college and cut all of his computer cords, or soaked them in water and plugged them back in or pulled out all the guts out of his hard drive and put it back together? The computer his roommate was nice enough to share with him. I can't remember which thing it actually was, but he did something awful to it - right before he left the state.

(I didn't get a chance to ask if his cats are really dead by now)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

love the glove

I really want to get one of those phone headsets to use in the car, mostly for long trips. However, the guy across the wall confirmed they may not be the best options for public places.

I now know all about his break up with his girlfriend, his wife's jealousy and how he would handle a potential custody battle. (which would involve weekends)

How can a man consider himself a good father when he sees his children every other weekend?? I see my friends more than that. I see my friends' kids (okay, my one friend with a kid-I'm not really in the market for any more) more than that. And she only has half custody! Which is of course how I think it should be in a seperation.

Why do men have kids if they're only going to see them part time?

There's another girl, who is a friend of a friend, that we see out every weekend. Why did she have a kid if she's never going to see him on the weekends?? In her defense, she was in her teens when she had him, but either have an abortion or make a huge lifestyle change.

I know it's easy to say when you don't have children, but this is why I don't have children! Use a condom, buy a dog and volunteer with kids if you're not going to get involved with your own.


I'm really going to write some real-life posts. Soon. Like maybe later today or tomorrow.

Until then, here's more of my long hair that I love.

I want to type in the little face box, but blogger won't let me. But if someone can guess where this photo was taken (from only the photo in the background) you'll win a prize.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Keyword analysis

If you search for:

myspace deaths
messagers & vibrators
getting married after 5 months
dangers of chewing toothpicks
what happens if you dont fill out a illinois motorist report
csi barkers blink
melissa in bra on treadmill
shit happens but dont worry only to me

you may stumble upon this blog.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Who do you recognize?

Whenever I go into Fusion (formerly 11 West) say that I went to high school with this guy and that I'm pretty sure he's on the sex offender registry.

He's in there for "CRIMINAL SEXUAL ASSAULT/FORCE." I'm surprised (and disgusted!) that a bar would hire a rapist for their security.

So, if you see the owner/management of the bar, congratulate them on their outstanding fair practices (EOE) hiring.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Dirty question of the day

Do you think 50 is too old to sleep with? (this is an attractive 50!)

And at what age to men start using Viagra? Without pharmaceuticals, I can't imagine they have very good recovery time ...

Am I just being ageist?

Of course, this is just a survey question completely unrelated to real life. ;)