Shit Happens

Friday, August 18, 2006

Belated HNT

I kind of have a small smile - I have no idea how I made it so big in this picture. Also, this photo is from a few years ago. Proof that only a few years of smoking will start yellowing your teeth. (sexy, I know)

Last night I was reminded what a mean drunk I can be. Seemingly out of the blue, I told this guy (who I've slept with) that I had no idea what a slut he is. It was mean and petty. I mean, he is ho-ey, but regardless, I wouldn't want someone to say something like that to me. (although if I had a girlfriend in another state and was ho'n it with a bunch of women around town, I would understand the sentiment)

I'm not crying over it or anything, but I don't like being that type of person.

About a year and a half ago, the last time I blacked out drinking (after LMC's birthday), I quit drinking for a month. Considering that I haven't went more than a week without getting drunk since, it may be time to give it another try. If nothing else, just to see how I feel and give some other interests a try. (and save some money!)

It looks like my mean doctor might finally refill my anxiety medicine (which I just learned I can snort to get high - hah!), which should really help with how much I drink.

If I give this a try, maybe I'll tackle smoking next.

Kyle can be my inspiration.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Screw babies

If we had a restaurant here that had "no kids" signs up, or only accepted well-behaved children-

I would eat there every day in support.

No brats aloud

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

lalala back on my soapbox

Somehow NARAL Pro-Choice America found out how important keeping my ovaries clean and the availability of birth control is to me and has been sending me weekly e-mail updates regarding the status of reproduction rights in America.

They also ask for money and have been disappointed to find out that I have none.

The latest e-mail said that they poled Americans and there is good news: 77% of American voters agree that reproductive choices, such as abortion should be left up the individual.

They also made me answer the survey myself, before receiving the results. I'm surprised that 23% of conservatives went anywhere in the vicinity of Pro-Choice America to answer their survey.

Why bother even sending that information out? Instead of encouraging people to vote for pro-choice candidates, if nothing else, because of the awful state of reproduction rights in America today, it is giving them the message that it is not important to speak out because there are so many others are on their side. If you're going to skew a survey, at least do it in favor of your cause.

Click here to see how your congressperson's record regarding choice.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Condom pants!

I just read my favorite post ever over at The Hot Librarian.

First of all, balls seem kind of dirty. And hairy balls (don't get me started) are probably breeding grounds for all types of diseases. How come you don't see BallCondoms in stores? Do they make BallCondoms so we women can safely suck (hairless!) balls?

Although CondomPants seem a bit extreme, I would like to have sex with condoms made of impenetrable, Superman-like steal. And if for some reason this isn't enough, I would prefer the millions and millions and millions of little babies that men release then turn around and swim all over them, possibly into their condom pants - and far from my healthy ovaries.

I would also like to see more products to make men come more quickly. (Get ready, we're going to share) I can get off in less than two minutes, so by the time we get to minutes four and five, I'm ready for a sandwich and a nap.

A sandwich and a nap are far more appealing to me than waiting for some plowpoke guy to release his demon seed.

And I love cum (come?), I really do. I love cum all over me (just not my hair, nose and eyelashes) except near my ovaries. I imagine my ovaries having long tube-arms with suckers on the ends, inhaling like a super-Hoover when sperm gets anywhere near them. They may also suck at condoms, and that's why they should probably be superglued on at the base before each sexual encounter.

You can never be too safe, right?

Monday, August 14, 2006

because I couldn't keep this to myself


(blogger wouldn't let me imbed it)