Shit Happens

Friday, October 06, 2006

GIANT CONDOMS (take THAT google)

I stole Things in Rubbers from the The Hot Librarian.

It's really things in rubbers.

And I love rubbers! I just bought a 12-pack of giant ones, GIANT CONDOMS that I can put GIANT THINGS into. (take that as you will) I have minimal experience with giant condoms, so I'm not sure if they come in packs smaller than 12. GIANT CONDOMS, GIANT QUANTITIES??

Maybe so.

I would assume men who require GIANT CONDOMS may need GIANT QUANITITIES of condoms to accomodate the GIANT amount of ass they receive (this is why my blog is annonymous!).

And since I haven't gotten laid more than three times in a single week during the course of my GIANT CONDOM use, I should have GIANT CONDOMS to spare.

I'm so overwhelmed with excitement I can't decide what to put in them first. Ohhh, and since I don't need to keep my bacon/rubber ducky/dead fish "safe," I can reuse one GIANT CONDOM for all of my GIANT CONDOM photo needs.

And yes, I wish I had a photo to accompany this post. ;)

TGIF

I'm fully aware I need to branch out and write about things besides violent sex and wet thighs. It's doubtful ...



Rusted

My thighs unhinge when you speak
of Hemingway and Fitzgerald
an oiled joint made moist in agreement
"Except the Old Man..."
the crusted red rust has fallen
between my ankles as if something old
and weathered can be made new again

I step on the fragile fragments
attempting to hide the things I know
you don't want to see I brush
the brown dust from the top sides of my knees
where you just removed your hand
only feeling smooth, clean flesh

As if the past doesn't exist
and all the things we regret have been
set free by the silent creaking
of my two legs I'm screaming
"thank you!"
in my mind for not betraying me
this once

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My computer is still doing the weird spacing thing (see post below). And right now I can't unbold the first sentence in this post. Or erase it. Any suggestions?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I think this is great